It’s been this long, so long that I don’t remember the feelings anymore. Yeah, I think about it, usually before I go to sleep since last year. I decided it was time to make amends on that idea of being with someone else… but, it may sound cliche, you don’t look for it but rather wait for it. Somehow, this is confusing me.
True, good things come to those who wait but for this matter I need also to look for it, right? Should I go back and review the collection I once made? Or is it really the time of your existence when you thought you should be like everybody else.. building relationship for future consumption? I maybe be bored but my hopeless romantic side wants to come out in the open and be available once more.
I had been haunted in my dreams. My love in each chapter of my life. Alone in my bed, my dreams bring me to some state where I’m not alone and it kinda makes me happy only to realized that it was a dream after all, feeling a lot lonelier than before.
xoxo,
babyj
My Dearest Allie,
I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.
Noah
My favorite romantic movie of all time! And as always it just didn’t jerked a tear in my eye but it made me cry!
First great love, developed over the summer in your hometown. Began on a night in a carnival… how romantic, how inspiring… how I wish I’ll have such story of genuine love that will last ‘til the end.
xoxo,
babyj
Here are the things really worth caring about in your 20s.
When you’re 25-ish, you’re old enough to know what kind of music you love, regardless of what your last boyfriend or roommate always used to play. You know how to walk in heels, how to tie a necktie, how to give a good toast at a wedding and how to make something for dinner. You don’t have to think much about skin care, home ownership or your retirement plan. Your life can look a lot of different ways when you’re 25: single, dating, engaged, married. You are working in dream jobs, pay-the-bills jobs and downright horrible jobs. You are young enough to believe that anything is possible, and you are old enough to make that belief a reality.
JOB
Now is the time to figure out what kind of work you love to do. What are you good at? What makes you feel alive? What do you dream about? You can go back to school now, switch directions entirely. You can work for almost nothing, or live in another country, or volunteer long hours for something that moves you. There will be a time when finances and schedules make this a little trickier, so do it now. Try it, apply for it, get up and do it.
When I was 25, I was in my third job in as many years—all in the same area at a church, but the responsibilities were different each time. I was frustrated at the end of the third year because I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do next. I didn’t feel like I’d found my place yet. I met with my boss, who was in his 50s. I told him how anxious I was about finding the one perfect job for me, and quick. He asked me how old I was, and when I told him I was 25, he told me that I couldn’t complain to him about finding the right job until I was 32. In his opinion, it takes about 10 years after college to find the right fit, and anyone who finds it earlier than that is just plain lucky. So use every bit of your 10 years: try things, take classes, start over.
RELATIONSHIPS
Now is also the time to get serious about relationships. And “serious” might mean walking away from the ones that don’t give you everything you need. Some of the most life-shaping decisions you make in this season will be about walking away from good-enough, in search of can’t-live-without. One of the only truly devastating mistakes you can make in this season is staying with the wrong person even though you know he or she is the wrong person. It’s not fair to that person, and it’s not fair to you.
COUNSELING
Twenty-five is also a great time to start counseling, if you haven’t already, and it might be a good round two of counseling if it’s been a while. You might have just enough space from your parents to start digging around your childhood a little bit. Unravel the knots that keep you from living a healthy whole life, and do it now, before any more time passes.
CHURCH
Twenty-five is the perfect time to get involved in a church you love, no matter how different it is from the one you were a part of growing up. Be patient and prayerful, and decide that you’re going to be a person who grows, who seeks your own faith, who lives with intention. Set your alarm on Sunday mornings, no matter how late you were out on Saturday night. It will be dreadful at first, and then after a few weeks, you’ll find that you like it, that the pattern of it fills up something inside you.
DON’T GET STUCK
This is the thing: when you start to hit 28 or 30, everything starts to divide, and you can see very clearly two kinds of people: on one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find God and themselves and their deep dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. And then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. They mean to find a church, they mean to develop honest, intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in kind of an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than they were when they graduated college.
Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. Walk away, try something new. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal. Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? What have I learned about God this year? What parts of my childhood faith am I leaving behind, and what parts am I choosing to keep with me for this leg of the journey? Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”
Now is your time. Become, believe, try. Walk closely with people you love, and with other people who believe that God is very good and life is a grand adventure. Don’t spend time with people who make you feel like less than you are. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/features/22864-what-to-know-when-youre-25ish
I’ve been disappointed not once or twice, I had enough share on emotional pain as far as failed relationship is concern. When I am trying to displace my unpleasant emotions to an acceptable one, it seems that my heart’s desires are not for me to want nor to have.
Recently, I thought of my dreams as a kid. The things I wanted to become when I was little. The ambitions I wanted to pursue when I grow up. Some were unrealistic but most of it I believe are achievable. I had done and finished school as what my ‘rents wanted. I had this degree like everybody else in the country. I used to like it and even fought for it but now I am no longer the one who made an oath about its course of duties and responsibilities. I somehow abandoned the tasks that was expected me to do and just let go of it because I had to do what I think I needed to do of that moment — to pursue my other dreams, which now I basically do not know anymore.
Is this what they call, Quarter Life Crisis? Did I bring this to myself? Or am I just a sole loser right now? I used to be good with the things I do. I was a very good student. A reliable friend. A responsible daughter. An honest girlfriend. A servant of God. But where am I right now? What should I do to get back on track? Maybe I’m exaggerating things and still know what should be done and how to do it. After all, I am the person who is optimistic and see the goodness in spite of negativity that surrounds the people or situation.
Let me just harbor the strength during this downtime and energize my soul and spirit from the past heartaches, present failures and all things alike. Besides, these are the true secret spices of life to become the person who you really want to be in the first place. The kind of person who stands up after the stumbling and falling; the one who fights and persevere for the things they want to get in life. and the person who continues to dream for the betterment.A Stronger, Happier and Contented person every single day.
xoxo,
babyj
“No one should ask themselves that: ‘Why am I unhappy?’ The question carries within it the virus that will destroy everything. If we ask that question it means we want to find out what we have now, then we must either change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even more unhappy.”
“Until one morning, I’ll wake up and find I’m thinking about something else, and then I’ll know the worst is over. My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more.It’s happened before. It will happen again, I’m sure.When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive — I’ll find love again.”
“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose — and commit myself to — what is best for me.”
“We could go back to the time when we first met: a man in emotional tatters over someone who had left him, and a woman madly in love with her neighbor. I could repeat what I said to you once: ‘I’m going to fight to the bitter end.’ Well, I fought and i lost, and now I’ll just have to lick my wounds and leave. I fought and lost as well. I’m not trying to sew up what was rent. Like you, I want to fight to the bitter end. I suffer everyday, did you know that? I’ve been suffering for months now, trying to show you how much I love you, how things are only important when you’re by my side. But now, whether I suffer or not, I’ve decided that enough is enough. It’s over. I’m tired. After that night in Zagreb, I lowered my guard and said to myself: If the blow comes, it comes. it can lay me out on the canvas, it can knock me out cold, but one day I’ll recover. (you will find someone else) Of course I will: I’m young, pretty, intelligent, desirable, but will I experience all the things I experienced with you? (you’ll experience different emotions and , you know, although you may not believe it, I loved you while we were together) I’m sure you did, but that doesn’t make it any the less painful. We” leave in separate taxis tomorrow. I hate goodbyes, especially at airports or train stations.”
“Diamonds And Coal”
If it’s good to complicate then both of us are doing fine.
Just keep your eyes on your part and leave me alone to mine.
If it’s good to instigate, we’re a fast horse, bet on us.
I’m not calling you an animal;I think we just fight too much.
Hey now, in spite of this we’re doing just fine
Even diamonds start as coal.
Give us time to shine,
Even diamonds start as coal.
We’re both aligned in frame of mind
But circumstance got us good.
And now you’re seeing a side of me
I wish no one ever would.
Yeah, if it’s right to pick a fight, we’re
Fingers in a sugar bowl.
Love isn’t perfect, even diamonds start as coal.
Come on, in spite of this we’re doing just fine
Even diamonds start as coal.
Give us time to shine,
Even diamonds start as coal.
Even diamonds start as coal.
We’re incomplete and infantine
Even diamonds start as coal.
Give it time girl, the fire feels divine
The sweetest things, they burn before they shine.
We think way too much,
Look at us losing touch!
A promise is a promise until…
Yeah in spite of this we’re doing just fine
Even diamonds start as coal.
Give us time to shine,
Even diamonds start as coal.
Even diamonds start as coal.
We’re incomplete and infantine
Even diamonds start as coal.
where are you during this time I needed you the most?
where are you now when I’m hurting the worst?
where are you and why you left me here?
why you have to do this when my love is for real?
haven’t I showed you my interest?
the interest you should have showed me like its your best…
why be cruel when I was true to you?
why hurt me like you hate me, when all I want is to cure you?
is this how you do it to those who endear you the most?
or you’re too scared to admit you can’t move any horse?
maybe it’s still the same… like what you thought it is…
you haven’t move on any inch away from that unholy pit.
maybe yes, maybe not…
your unconditional love for someone else truly sucks.
it maybe true, it maybe not…
but still I wish you all the luck.
i love you now and may have loved you forever…
but what is forever?
if we never had been together?
After watching this movie for the first time at HBO I couldn’t stop myself from crying.. maybe because it’s just hard to know that someone is dying and you can’t do anything about it. You can’t stop it from happening and people around you will do anything and everything just to prolong the life .. because he/she just can’t die.
I’ve come to realized.. our label-less relationship was diagnosed right from the start. It will die eventually because it won’t really work. We’re far from each other. But somehow it did survived for a while but then it got worst. It has complications.
I know it will come to its end but just like Sara in this movie, I tried everything to prolong the life of our so called ‘relationship’… I tried to make it work by pushing myself.. by making him realize that its okay to fall in love again and I am still here with the same feelings as before. But when the truth was told… it has to end because he wants something else. I need to let go and accept right then and there.
You have to move on because after death the only end result of grieving and mourning is acceptance. There is pain due to retaliation from the truth. But in the long run you will tell yourself that “I need to stop and move on. I have a life to live.” The memories will always remind you of how stronger you’ve become.
When you lost love, its like a part of you died. Still, its not the end of everything because tomorrow will always be better and brighter.
xoxo,
babyj
Ashes And Wine
Don’t know what to do anymore
I’ve lost the only love worth fighting for
I’ll drown in my tears
Don’t they see?
That would show you, that would make you hurt like me
All the same
I don’t want mudslinging games
It’s such a shame
To let you walk away
Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?
Don’t know if our fate’s already sealed
This day’s spinning surface on a wheel
I’m ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee-laced intoxicating on her lips
Shut it out
I’ve got no claim on you now
Not allowed to wear your freedom down
Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may chance your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?
I’ll tear myself away
That is what you need
There is nothing left to say
But
Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?
The day’s still ashes and wine
Or are we ashes?
